I have been having a bit of a struggle. I had to return to work after Thanksgiving and I was okay, Christmas was soon after. Now there isn't a break until April... I am literally counting down. I didn't know how hard it would be! Graham is amazing! This makes leaving him, well, awful. I hate it! I miss him so much! I have a profession that I love. A job I can learn in and it changes everyday. It pushes me and I love it or... I used to. Of late I hate it - not the job exactly but the part that takes me away from my little boy. This has not made me the best teacher... or person.
So I have decided to make a change. No, I cannot stay home with him now, probably not for a few years, I need to find a way to make it better as things are. I have decided to follow Grandma Shirley's advice of being positive (she has said this my whole life to anyone and everyone) For the most part I tend to be a positive, happy person but leaving Graham made it hard. Now, instead of hating the minutes away from him, I am going to be positive about where I am and bring it home to him. I know it sounds a little ridiculous and simple but it is helping. I have more energy and don't worry as much about things I cannot change. I am not great at it all of the time and I still miss him like crazy but I am a nicer teacher and I do see more that they do right instead of wrong. Graham is happy and with people who love him and enjoy him too. I think it also makes me feel less guilty about completely focusing on him when I am home. No work comes home and my house may look like a tornado has gone through but it just doesn't matter as much as watching him.
4 comments:
I so sympathize with you! It's hard, but it does get easier and I think having a positive attitude is the only thing you can do since it's the only thing you can change! Sorry I've been like the worst friend in the world and still haven't come to see him. I seriously just feel like I'm getting up to speed in life so I'll call you soon. I promise! Good luck!
i am right with you, the time with those little guys is great! I find myself smiling even at 3 am when Ridge wakes up and is hungry. I whipser in his ear every night that he should stay little, so far it is not working.
It is so hard. Its all about quality vs quanitity in my house. I make the time I am with my boys the best times...
Grahm is so darn cute!
I love your post but I see something else positive about the situation. I get to enjoy him too. We love that little squirt. Thank you for sharing him. It also helps Korena realize she is not only the only person in the universe while the other girls are at school. We really love you all and love seeing you and Mark become parents. You are both adorable.
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