Exciting and Unexpected Weekend!!

So this weekend I had the (very last second) opportunity, thanks to my Grandma, to go to Washington. The original reason was to see my little sister's play. We bought the tickets Thursday afternoon to leave Friday afternoon. I was also going to try to get a chance to visit with Mark's sister and family. At nine months pregnant and me without my own mode of transportation, we weren't sure if it would happen that we could both travel but we were going to try. She called Friday to say that she was being induced and would not make it to meet me. My mother-in-law, LaDeane, knowing that we had a flight that afternoon tried to get on the same flight with us.

It wasn't completely successful, a crazy travel story for another time, but in the end she did end up traveling with us. Her coming made it possible for me to borrow transportation and visit the expectant family as well. It was such a neat experience. I feel so blessed to have been able to be there, although a little guilty because I know that many others, including my husband, wished they could have too. It was fun to watch LaDeane and Joyce (sister-in-law, her daughter) interact. As we drove closer, she became more and more excited by the minute. I was impressed by Lance (expectant father) and his devotion. He was so anxious and paced every end of that hospital! We ended up staying all night and into the next day just waiting for that little boy to come and finally, after a lot of patience (on the mom's part) and prayers he came c-section. He was 9 1/2 lbs!! Such chubby cheeks! Here are some pics of him:

His first bath:

With Mom:

With Grandma:

Isn't he cute?

After the exciting visit to the hospital, I drove to see more of my family. It was so great! I had the chance to spend some time with each of my siblings ~ except, sadly, my youngest sister who was in Texas :( One of my brothers has moved to Seattle and I got to see his new apartment and hear about what is happening for him. I had more "just us" time than usual with my other brother, which was wonderful. I don't think he knows how much that time means to me. I got to, of course, see my sister's play. She was AMAZING!! I cried almost every time she came on stage (my brothers laughed at that!). I wish that I was able to be there for more of their lives. They are such a part of mine, without them knowing - most likely. I feel like I have missed so much living apart from them. They have all grown into these incredible people that I feel lucky just to associate with. They have gone through so much in thier young lives but can laugh and love and give. I am so proud of each of them and what they have become. I hope someday they will forgive me for living so far and missing so much. They deserve much more from a big sister.

The Perfect Man

When I was single, I had a lot of pictures in my mind about "that person" the one I would end up with in the end. He was my ideal, a perfect man. I found better.

The last few days have been, well, trying would be a good word-extremely difficult. I am a teacher. I have spent the summer preparing my lessons and my classroom. To those of you who don't understand what that means and the time and energy it takes, ask a teacher. It was to be my 3rd year teaching 6th grade. I was finally to the point where I knew the curriculum and was comfortable teaching it and ready to branch out and try even more new things. I had just moved to a school closer to home (that I LOVED) and was super excited for the school year to begin. Tuesday night, that all changed.

The projected numbers for my school were down and the six most recently hired were cut - "reduction in faculty" is what it is called in this district. Now, that doesn't mean we lost our jobs, just location and in my case, my grade level. I am now at another school, it is very different from where I was but a really great school. I am also teaching 3rd grade instead of 6th grade. Again, to those of you who don't know the difference, spend some time with a 8/9 year old and an 11/12 year old. They are different worlds.

I won't go into all the details and emotions I have been through but I will tell you this: I know that God is in control and loves me. I have felt reasurred that these are the children I am to teach this year. Who knows maybe I will love it and never go back to 6th graders. That doesn't make it easy, though. I am exhausted, overwhelmed, disoriented and the tasks ahead still loom above me. School starts Tuesday. I don't know if I have ever worked so hard and with so little excitement for school to start. I am sure I will get there but there is still road to travel.

Today I am so grateful for the "perfect man" that fills my life with love, hope, comfort, and joy. My husband began to act as soon as he heard the news. He was at my beck and call. He cried with me, worked with me, and more importantly prayed with me. Today he got up early, put gas in my car, made a lunch for me, reassured me throughout the day, then came home to cut out decorations for my classroom. There has been a smile on his face when I have needed it, a shoulder to cry on, and a willing worker at any given second. When I have told him thank you he says things like "I love to help you" or "I love you, of course". That ideal that I used to dream about is nothing when compared to the one I was lucky enough to marry!

Random Thoughts on the Last Year

I've been catching up on friends' blogs and I have to say I am impressed. I really need to be more consistent, it would probably help me process my thoughts. It's neat to read they're thoughts and experiences and compare them to my own. Life has seemed to fly by the last while and has left me quite reflective. I have thought back a lot on the past year and everything that has changed for me. Now, don't get me wrong~most of it has been good, wonderful actually, but life-changing nonetheless.

In the last year I have lost my father, lost my grandfather, purchased a home and moved, married, changed jobs, and gained a puppy. Mind you that wasn't all, there have been plenty of events and happenings that have been very significant but that was an illustration of the whirlwind.

We are nearing the year mark of the loss of my Dad (Grandpa too, they were only days apart). You know, I didn't actually know him too well- due to particular circumstances. He faced some rough obstacles in his life which kept him somewhat at a distance to me. I was lucky though that in the years before the illness happened I was able to begin to glimpse who he really was. I always knew this about him though: He loved me. I absolutely came first to him which was why he kept me at a distance from the world he lived in. He wanted the world for me. When he did get sick, it was hard. I was angry that it happened when it did, when I was finally getting to know him. We had high hopes of his recovery for quite a while, but sadly he never really returned after the first few months. He suffered. His dignity was taken as each ability and process left him. They are still unsure exactly what it was that he had. I should have been better in visiting him (His wife and mother never faltered, I don't know how they handled it) it was so painful. It's hard to watch someone slowly disintegrate, you can't even let yourself remember who they really are or you lose it. You have to pretend they are no different while knowing nothing is truly the same. I am really good at avoiding pain, so that's what I did. I guess we all deal with things the best we can but I hope he knows that even though I was weak, I love him. I was relieved when he died. I know that sounds horrible but it was so awful to see him like that and (selfishly) my wedding was not far away and I wanted him to see it. The only way that would have happened was they way it occurred. My last visit is forever etched in my heart. He moved for me. He was weak and had not eaten in a while and had not moved of his own accord for about 3 days they told me, but when I walked in his hand reached for me. Truthfully, no one knows how much he comprehended by this time but I would like to think that his spirit saw it. I showed him my bridal pictures and he cried, along with myself and his amazing wife. I had a few moments alone with him where I was able to tell him that it was okay if he left and that we would all be alright. Maybe he didn't need or even understand anything that happened that day, but it was peaceful. He died about 36 hours later.

We (the family) survived the funeral quite well. We were actually able to mourn the man he really was, not what the illness had made him. Grandpa wasn't doing so well, though. He had lost his oldest son. I'm not sure the reason he had to join him, but I'm sure there was one. Losing Grandpa was the shock, it happened 6 days after my Dad. If my family wasn't made up of the amazing people it is, I have no idea how we would have endured. It was also through all of this that I knew, without any doubt, how amazing my (now) husband is. The experience made me (I think most of us) appreciate our family and each second with them. This part of my family is more important to me than they know. They have never wavered and always remained solid. They allow no one to go to far before they are pulled in by the love they show. I have always been someone that mattered and was allowed weakness to them. I don't let them see it enough, but I really love them.

I didn't think I would write this much but I still have to get to one more thing before I head off to dreams. My husband. I was petrified of marriage (ask why and you'll get a saga so...) but Mark changed that. He was so certain, so solid. He never let me give up. Tonight he was given a blessing by his brother-in-law. I saw my husband through different eyes for a moment. He is exceptional. I looked at him and saw the most incredible potential! I still wonder how he chose me. We have been looking ahead to the years of school and tight finances but I was filled with peace and calm. It will work out. Mostly because he is amazing and drags me along. He also has this unbelieveably incredible family. ALL of them. Not only that but they have accepted me so readily with such open arms. I must seem a little strange to them sometimes but it is just so new to me to have such a "normal" loving family. They are like my Dad's family but with me as a sibling in full. I hope someday they'll know what that means to me.